Saturday, November 25, 2006

OMG LOLZ!!1 U ROXXORZ TEH INTERWEB NEWZ!!1one


so much for "with us or the terrorists", Iran gets a great deal on air defense missile systems from Russia:
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/11/24/russia.iran.reut/index.html

see? the democrats won and now more babies will die, ergo, the terrorists won:
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_4714291

another reason to consider the land of the north for your next home:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15871644/
now that's what I'm talkin aboot
and coming in at number 9 on the democracy scale, not the US:
http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1543571.ece
unfortunately I think they send dodgers back these days:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,231758,00.html

ok, when I watch this commercial, I envision a guy fleeing the oncoming horde before succumbing to the onslaught:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1v5-MKWxxU
I'll take a quick moment to comment on another interesting internet trend.  apparently now you can post a video response to videos you view on youtube.  it began with this simple, slightly amusing video of a pug spinning around imitating a blender:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9l19D2sIHI
cute, right? but this is just the start of a weird journey into the minds of people on the internet.  now we have the chance to see what the twisted minds of the people who viewed this clip came up with.  first we have the subtle, witty response from muttley, who assures us its really him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB6VjbyNjaQ
I don't know why an Iraqi insurgent was watching a pug dance, but I dig his humor
next we have...well I don't know what this is, you just have to watch for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmJ9mxPHG8c
this is what the internet is going to do to us all, we're all going to go insane.  I'm just glad I got a head start :)

suck it verizon/t-mobile/cingular:
http://www.theregister.com/2006/11/23/congress_dmca_cellphones_censorware/

not getting lucky often enough? blame the pilgrims:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15754563/
"yeah we really only have one rule around here in Plymouth, if its fun, its probably a sin"
and here's some advice to getting the other luck:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3335275.stm

your whole wheat bread just got alot healthier:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/11/24/BAG4JMJ6EK1.DTL

come, let us look into the future...all the way to the year 2000:
http://www.newscientist.com/channel/opinion/science-forecasts/dn10580
where's my flying car?!?

if you loved the idiot breaking the sword on the shopping network, get ready for his encore with a Dell computer:
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/video-dont-shop-at-home
ONE HUNDRED TWENTY EIGHT!!

Mmmmmmm, cotton tshirts....
http://houston.bizjournals.com/houston/stories/2006/11/20/daily19.html

the evolution up to the Revolution:
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/video-the-evolution-of-video-games

your wi-fi laptop is giving you cancer...head cancer:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,591-2461748,00.html

MUST...HAVE...
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/samsung-sph-p9000-live-shots

free speech in high school? obviously this kid is living in Dreamland:
http://www.ntnews.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,7034,20818124%5E13569,00.html

the Russians were obviously overcompensating for something here:
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/video-a-look-back-worlds-most-powerful-nuclear-weapon

The Daily Schadenfreude:
http://cbs3.com/topstories/local_story_328141923.html

Thursday, November 9, 2006

in Soviet Russia, news reads you!


Good Morning Mr. President, would you like some OJ with your humble pie?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/11/09/MNG1LM8VRV1.DTL
and for clarification, and an illustration of modern American politics, here's Bush's statements pre-election:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/30/AR2006103000530.html
way to cave in, sir.  I haven't seen a cave in like that since those coal mining accidents.
and its Webb with the breakaway for the win:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6463396
the Chinese weigh in with their thoughts:
http://watchingamerica.com/peoplesdaily000044.shtml
and the rest of the world gives its two cents, thus depriving starving children of their daily meal:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-6200318,00.html

this in from Iraq, the health minister says that over 150,000 Iraqis have died since the war's start, about three times more than the Administration has claimed:
http://news.bostonherald.com/international/view.bg?articleid=166517
its still shy of that 655,000 that The Lancet claimed but way more than the "official" count, as they often say, the truth is somewhere in the middle

turning to other subjects, can the Dems save the internet?
http://news.com.com/What+the+Democrats+win+means+for+tech/2100-1028_3-6133833.html
rumor has it they will call on their greatest champion to save his greatest invention thus saving the world from global warming due to lack of porn and free music
America's broadband sucks, its too expensive and too slow:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/07/AR2006110701230.html?nav=rss_opinion/columns
http://blogs.zdnet.com/ITFacts/?p=11906
and if you needed any absolute example of how copyright law has gotten out of hand, here it is:
http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/national/news/20061109p2a00m0na018000c.html

we bring it on ourselves, first we build a world-wide network of computers with increasing amounts of A.I., then we build robot ninjas that look exact like us, now we've let them know what we taste like...this can only end well:
http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcontents/2006/11/robot_identifie.html?rss
and from this comes the YouTube vid o' the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAAIs6TUmDg

if you've ever wanted to download anything from a new golf club to a VW Golf, MIT has the device for you:
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2006/11/13/8393124/index.htm

do you like beer? do you like to travel? then this link's for you!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15642039/

talk about your crappy alternative energy, poo to power procurator's place:
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SEWER_POWER?SITE=WHIZ&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

alright, this is getting ridiculous, we didn't have hot teachers sexing us up in high school and these bastards don't deserve it either:
http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_110906_news_rainier_teacher_student_sex_.1ea1e06a.html
http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA&IKOBJECTID=cb5f8486-0abe-421a-0026-f550d1640811&TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-c589c01ca7bf

Ooo ugg ahh ooOOooga mmmaaa grrrr rrrrAAAA!!
http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/15965066.htm

a horse is a horse, of course, of course, unless its a burger:
http://www.reason.com/news/show/116591.html
remember kids, we only eat dumb, uncute things in God's Country

road trip!
http://www.wcpo.com/news/2006/local/11/09/thursdays.html

Oh my god! WATCH OUT FOR THE FALLING PRICES!!
http://money.cnn.com/2006/11/09/news/companies/walmart_blackfriday/index.htm?postversion=2006110912
and don't worry Christian shoppers, in addition to low prices you now get a "Merry Christmas" too:
http://money.cnn.com/2006/11/09/news/companies/walmart_christmas/index.htm

yeah so I've seen 11 out of 16...what of it?  best worst movies ever:
http://www.maximonline.com/slideshows/index.aspx?imgCollectId=130&src=mx194
my absolute favorite still has to be J.Lo firing that bolt action rifle several times without reloading
and the best line from the article "In fact, stand up in your cubicle right now and shout "Who is the master?" Anyone who doesn't answer "Sho' nuff!" is someone you never need to speak to again."

what email would be complete without the Daily Schadenfreude?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15643614/

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

roll that beautiful news footage!


well, I guess I have to rule out any conspiracy for Republicans to steal the election using e-voting...I'm kinda disappointed.  I love a good conspiracy but the best I can come up with now is that Republicans are just lulling us into a false sense of security before they really strike in '08.  oh yea, that's right, a third Bush term is just around the corner, you'll see.  but for now we bask in the light of our new partisan Congress which is sure to be more impotent than ever.  I do find it sad that after 6 years of ReBushicans and 12 years of GOP goodness that the better alternative is one where most of the power is canceled out.  but that's politics.

BOOYAH! bye bye Rummy, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/08/AR2006110801579.html
and now we know what we didn't know when we were still thinking it was a known unknown:
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1162983718323&call_pageid=1144159007037

stem cells are evil and contain the souls of dead babies and have never been proven to do anything useful...wait, what's that? are you sure? I see....ladies and gentlemen stem cells cure blindness and are the greatest thing since sliced bread:
http://news.com.com/Blind+mice+see+again+after+cell+transplants/2100-11393_3-6133707.html
farmer's wife unavailable for comment

if you're being pummeled in the media, despised by the voters, and lacking any credible options for winning the election then the next best thing is to keep your opponents out of the voting booths:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/11/6/1717/68014

nanotech is coming, will you live forever?
http://www.wonova.com/11/2006/do-you-want-to-live-forever-nanotechnology/
at the very least it would give you time to catch up on all those shows on your Tivo

who knew the man in the moon was really Shiva?
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1833877,00040005.htm

sweeeeeeeet, I want one, its the coolest phone yet:
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/samsung-sph-p9000
I continue to be disappointed in the lack of asswiping ability however

I think this is my favorite link this week, what do you do with a woman who's in jail for check fraud? let her post bail with a check, naturally:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-061107counterfeit,1,6932000.story?coll=chi-news-hed&ctrack=1&cset=true

mmmmm, wrap your mouth around one of these, its so big and meaty:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006510748,00.html

sexual enhancement from the other perspective (NSFW):
http://www.zug.com/pranks/viagra-for-women/index.html
and something to help her out:
http://www.local6.com/health/10263082/detail.html

and women wonder why we sleep around? it'd be dangerous NOT to!
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006510597,00.html

wouldn't you know that the "NASA caught napping" photos would be from Alabama:
http://www.local6.com/slideshow/news/10260207/detail.html?qs=;s=1;w=525

all I really need to know I learned in 80's cartoons:
http://www.cracked.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=815

its gone all wrong, where's the german dude when you need him?
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/video-pimp-my-ride-gone-wrong#more-5470
UNPIMP DE AUTO!! SCHNELL!!

what floats like a duck, talks like a duck, and makes lots of fresh water like a duck?
http://www.newscientisttech.com/article.ns?id=dn10465&feedId=online-news_rss20
she's a witch!

excuse me, you have my stapler...now I have to kill you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGNs7QMeV7E

and last but not least, a true Daily Schadenfreude:
http://www.derekhail.com/2006/11/07/britney-spears-files-for-divorce-the-full-story/
congratulations K-Fed on your soon-to-be "where are they now?" celebrity status, I hear McDonald's is hiring

Sunday, November 5, 2006

my country tis of thee, sweet land of liberty...or so it seems (remember remember Nov 5)


Greetings and salutations my fellow Americans, I find my timing for this latest installment to be appropriate for many reasons.  First, today is the election.  Second, I just re-re-re-watched V for Vendetta and have been motivated to go out and attempt to make a difference in the world.  This email won't be my usual well organized fluff but a few of these links may give some insight into our world of today.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uS75tSPpV7A  good bye democracy

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/11/04/rumsfeld.departure/  I'll have two Rumsfields to go

http://sianews.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=3023   trapped in America

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/5303590.stm  economy sucks

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6113978.stm  economy good?

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/politics/4310060.html  don't ask, don't tell, don't collect $200
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=topNews&storyID=2006-11-04T044513Z_01_N03442495_RTRUKOC_0_US-SECURITY-PRISONS.xml&WTmodLoc=NewsHome-C1-topNews-5

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/11/02/kerry.photo/  joke's on kerry

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/468715p-394420c.html

http://www.dailycolonial.com/go.dc?p=3&s=3378

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/custom/newsroom/chi-061106bush,1,207137.story?coll=chi-news-hed

Whoever you choose to vote for today will be your own decision.  I'm not going to advocate any particular candidate or ideology.  I only ask that you consider both where we've been and where we're going.  Honestly look at the issues and the positions offered.  Follow your heart and do the best thing possible for our nation.  Don't be lead by the rhetoric of either side, choose your own path.  Only by shedding our apathy can we hope to salvage our freedom and our future.  Godspeed and good luck.

~Joseph