Tuesday, December 26, 2006

the beginning of the end, the death of the "great experiment in self-government"

Habeas Corpus has been suspended, welcome back to the Inquisition, confess and receive your salvation:
but the government protects your rights, right? I bet this guy thought they would too:
however, don't worry, they're not going to kill you, a short stint in Room 101 will cure what ails you:
I might have to check that out, conspiracy theories are fun but I always like to check the facts before I'll believe it.  I should probably hurry up and check it out before Bush and Co. brand me as a seditionist and I disappe

and its official, The Administration's decisions have resulted in more American deaths than al Qaeda's:

UPDATE: the other day I put this link in the email about a Times article being censored by the White House, here's what they censored:
I truly believe that the internet may become the last refuge of the truth and even it is under attack by both the government and the companies that run it.  history will tell if we can defend our rights and the truth, but then again if the forces of power and control win, we may never know these things ever existed
here's some more proof about our 1984 direction:

did you know that "It's a Wonderful Life" is communist propaganda?  that's what the government says and don't they always know best?

why we may not have to worry about Iran:

Biden wants honesty from Bush, perhaps he needs to ask Moses how to get water from a rock:
also he'll fight him on sending more troops into Iraq:

and now for something hilarious from the insurgents, if we leave Iraq within a month and leave our weapons behind, they will allow us to leave peacefully:

25 quotes to ponder for a new year:
I like 11 and 1 but 4 is what I live by and is the inspiration for what I do
and here are a few more:
*He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself.
*It is the direction and not the magnitude which is to be taken into consideration.
*That government is best which governs least.
Thomas Paine

the lighter side of news for darker times

get ready for the future, it is indeed lighter:

an electric sport-utility truck that does 95mph, 0-60 in less than 10 sec, AND completely charges in 10 MINUTES:
currently it has a 130 mile range with a 250 mile version in the works, HALLELUJAH!!
and here is another reason to be excited:
can termites save us from the energy crisis?

for all of you that know me personally all I have to say is neener neener neener, my mess makes me smarter:
and so do my videogames:


a pen that uses no ink and will never be used up in your lifetime:

1up.com doles out the Xmas gifts for the gaming industry:

two heads may be better than one, but I don't know what to make of this:

privacy is dead and we killed it:

actions have consequences, here's the reason why you shouldn't commit rape:
the faint of heart need not click

proof that Cheech and Chong could time-travel:

welcome to the WiiHome, where Wii takes over your whole life:

and to complement the quotes in the serious email here's some dumb ones from people in 2006:

The Daily Schadenfreude, served well chilled:

Friday, December 22, 2006


just got the internet browser for the Wii and thought I'd post a "quick" hello. they are really going to have to put out a keyboard for this damn thing, right now you have to use the onscreen keyboard with the wiimote, which is madding. but I luvs it :)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

whats more fun than a mindbogglingly huge debt? the news you might not be able to pay it back!

out of the gate today we'll examine the fact that we're boned...completely, utterly boned and here's why:
"Despite improvement in both the fiscal year 2006 reported net operating cost and the cash-based budget deficit, the U.S. government's total reported liabilities, net social insurance commitments, and other fiscal exposures continue to grow and now total approximately $50 trillion, representing approximately four times the Nation's total output (GDP) in fiscal year 2006, up from about $20 trillion, or two times GDP in fiscal year 2000."
wow, I wonder, what could have possibly happened between 2000 and 2006? <strokes chin and muses> "gee, that's a tough one mister, can I still have $50 so I can buy an apple core for my family?  and if you have a stack of ones on you we could really use that for our fire."  and if that isn't bad enough, oil is now starting the trend to be traded on the euro instead of the dollar.
I can't begin to tell you how bad this can become, but here's a primer.
simple solution? kill the old people and nuke the banks carrying our debt.  PROBLEM SOLVED! :D

this I found interesting and important enough to put close to the top:
A FREE, ANONYMOUS internet phone number that forwards to your phone of choice, VIVA LA INFORMATION REVOLUTION!!

HOLY...FREAKING...CRAP  this is a new low for The Administration, if you've been mentally fucked up by governmental torture (which we don't do, but just saying if it did happen) then your testimony about said alleged torture is unacceptable in court because you're mentally incompetent:
ladies and gentlemen, this is endgame, I can give you no greater example of 1984 draconian ideology than that

oh First Amendment, what a pesky little bugger you are, you're either too strong or not strong enough:

Pelosi plans to peek at pesky political purses:
proof the Dems aren't all they're cracked up to be, in case you forgot they're politicians too

North Korean demands for disarming their nukes:
my favorite? number 57: we demand Teresa Heinz Kerry because she's so saucy

the best way to deal with criticism? don't let those bastards say it in the first place:

the top 10 stories of 2006 I would have gotten to eventually:
wait, does this count? yes? awesome, I covered everything this year!

remember kids, you don't want to be an "enemy combatant" in custody of the US:

foreign policy, founding father style:

cigarettes cause global warming...wait, no, I read that wrong.  what do global warming and cigarettes have in common?  according to people that profit from them, neither will kill you:

bye bye science, we hardly knew ye:
but the scientists will fight the power:

here we have possibly the best definition of irony I've seen lately:

how do you settle differences in the 21st century? with Wii of course!

when jumping into a shark tank with steaks strapped to you isn't enough:

internet? cable TV? phone service?  AT&T says "yes-no/no-yes" and asks if the FCC can define "is"

now you see me, but soon you won't:


makes you think twice about that McDonald's ranch burger doesn't it?
and speaking of white goo, did you know that mayonnaise demostrates quantum mechanics?

and the Daily Schadenfreude:

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

'tis the season to be jolly for news

well GAWDDARNIT! its like a bad dream that keeps getting worse:

hydrogen economy set to crash and burn, Herb Morrison unavailable for comment:
I honestly want to know who's bright idea it was to propose an entire infrastructure centered around an element that doesn't occur naturally on Earth. I've got a better idea, if we start producing pixie dust we could just fly around instead of all this driving nonsense. Actually I guess that suggestion starts to break down around the Happy Thought phase of implementation because we have a shortage of that resource these days...

I'm going to take this one a bit further and break it down.
"If we lost (in court)," said Dave Barthmuss, General Motors' spokesman for environmental and energy affairs, "certain vehicles could not be offered for sale -- vehicles that consume more fuel than others. There would be fewer SUVs and we might not be able to offer them for sale in California. It could spell the end of the big SUV in California."
BOOHOO, somebody call a Prius whaaambulence for these bastards. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, a 90lbs housewife does not need a Sherman tank to drop the kids off at soccer practice. In an era of record-high energy prices were said energy comes from the most volatile and dangerous areas of the world we have
automakers crying about the end of their grotesque, wasteful creations. It's like Nero bitching that his violin is out of tune. This next quote illustrates the point nicely:
G.M.'s Barthmuss said the efforts by California and the 11 other states to be able to limit greenhouse gas emissions "is really a state attempt to try to regulate fuel economy, because the way you reduce greenhouse gases is to reduce the amount of fuel you burn." Fuel economy regulation, Barthmuss said, is the responsibility of the federal government and should be handled only by the federal government.
OK, so here we have an admission that a) SUVs are greenhouse gas spewing monstrosities and b) they have sucky fuel economy. Then he cleverly defers to "the government" as the arbiter of standards as if to imply that all California is seeking is more power and a chance to further interfere in the lives of the average American. "Damn west coast liberals!" mutters Barthmuss as he cuts the check to Universal Studios for the nice product placement in Miami Vice 3: Operation Smoke-a-Cuban. But sadly his statement fails to hold water because "the government" is going to do nothing about fuel standards for two reasons; 1) the federal government's impotence when it comes to enacting forward thinking but politically risky strategies and 2) this government is in the pocket of the American automakers and their bedfellows Big Oil. So leave it to California to once again blaze a path into the future, but watch out because they may force you to have cleaner air and lower your energy consumption.

here's what Bush will do about Iraq, or might do, or in some theories of multiverse physics has already done:
Bush compares Iraq to Vietnam, which I hardly think he's qualified to do since he only saw Vietnam for the first time a couple of weeks ago:
ah ok, its those crazy al Qaeda boys at it again. whew, I was worried this was a civil war:

wiretaps, good, bad, whats the difference? it won't stop for another two years anyway:
late to the party as usual, the government will investigate the spying program, way to be on the ball guys:

oil prices hurt Indian economy, we're next:

"let's get out of here!" says NATO

the image of our generation, ladies and gentlemen, I present Generic Fat Kid:
seriously, this kid's picture gets used for every fat story, if I were him I'd sue for either compensation or emotional distress...or both, it is America after all. then he can use the money for liposuction, stomach stapling, and getting a sponsorship from Subway

so, he's from Alabama, he currently has my last name, and he's auctioning renaming himself, NO RELATION:
ok ok ok, its me, I needed the money

Harry Potter teaches kids about the Devil and it needs to be pulled from shelves:
while you're at it, get rid of those pesky reference books like the encyclopedia and useless things like the internet because kids might find pagan stuff there too. just keep the kids locked inside watching Veggie Tales on repeat, that'll save their precious little souls


solar madness:

this guy is great, he's freakin hillarious:
and everything you need to know about "that time of the month":

you can't leave me, I'm pregnant, or why the Mitten State sucks:
and now, some good news, yet another male birth control option is around the corner, the tyranny of the uterus is ended! long live the penis!

finally the link du jour, the Daily Schadenfreude:
and a penis joke for the road: